A Writer's 21st Century Memoir.

The Department Store Diaries: Day 3 ½

“Yeah, umm, when do you need to go on your break hun?” My new teacher out on the floor pretty much had it up to the lower levels of heaven with my inadequacy at the cash register. I had single handedly halted a huge line of customers causing mass panic behind the counter, and f#cked up the computer so bad that they had to call in the IT department for help.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I think it’s time for me to go out on the break.” My “buddy” for the day picked up the phone and dialed my energetic training instructor.

“Hey when do you want your new employee back?”

“Yeah, I got it. I’m leaving right now” I told the upset employee who was on the phone. I was half expecting the cash register to spontaneously combust and to suffer in some sort of freak inferno as I was walking away, but instead an error sign blocked anyone from making any transactions. “Sorry I screwed that up, and I’ll see you around!” I yelled to everyone as I ran to the training room. Things were obviously not working out in my favor.

“Hey new kid, how’d everything go!” My training supervisor was bouncing around the room with all of the other frustrated new employees.

“Umm. Not so great,” I replied.

“Aww, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Hey, turn that frown upside down!”

“It was that bad.” I wanted to tell her that she needed to stay away from the coffee too, but killing someone’s optimism in this line of work is just cruel. Ms. Smiley was obviously in love with her minimum wage job, and that was totally fine. I’ve always been the advocate for doing what you love, which made this job even harder for me to go into everyday. I don’t really like it when catastrophe strikes and things catch fire because of me.

Read the madness from the beginning.

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