Seventy-two days and they’re done. After a lavish wedding broadcasted to over two million viewers and that cost thousands of dollars, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have called it quits and are now getting a divorce. The f#ck? And they say gay marriage is ruing the fabric of marriage. No, America, I don’t think so.
In the past, a marriage was supposed to function as a property contract for the groom. He was to own his wife and all of her possessions, and she was suppose to sit in a corner and just take the dude’s name (but that’s for another discussion). In today’s views, or at least those of the earlier part of the 20th century, a marriage was supposed to signify a union between two people. The rings that the couple wore were supposed to represent the love that never ends between those two people, and the vows they said before God and all of their family were supposed to be promises kept forever.
Turn quickly to the present day and the marriages that once lasted in the upwards of 50 plus years are diminished to 50 days or a couple of years if you’re really lucky. Today, a marriage lasts for however long is convenient to the couple, love doesn’t matter if the other person’s rich and the rings are just a representation of social status. “Look at my ring! This is how much money my man has!” Shut up bitch.
The divorce rate in America is at 50 percent for first marriages. That means one out of two couples doesn’t make it, and that sucks. It gets even worse if you try going at it again. Sixty-seven percent of second marriages go to the dogs, and 74 percent of third marriages catch fire and fall into the deep pits of hell according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.
It pisses me off when the LGBT community can’t join with their partners in a loving union, but it pisses me off even more when the same people who say the LGBT community will ruin marriage are grabbing marriage by the neck, ringing it until it dies, and then pissing on its grave in front of all of its family at the funeral. Please. Just zip your pants up and stop it. You straight people of America are killing marriage every day. You act like marriage is a thing to do when you’re bored and a little drunk, and it’s not cute.
So here’s to you Kim and Kris. Thanks for helping the rest of straight America f#ck up marriage.