A Christmas Message From The Cat

Christmas Message

I watch as my key slides into the lock on the front door of my apartment. I listen to the clicking and clacking of tumbling parts working to grant me entrance to my apartment. I open the door, and I am greeted by a very loving gray long-hair cat purring and rubbing up against my black vegan leather ankle boots. As I unfold my body back into an upright standing position after gently petting the friendly feline, my jaw drops in horror as I witness the spirit and the aftermath of Krampus. Continue reading “A Christmas Message From The Cat”

Be Quiet, It’s Christmas

I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. -Elie Wiesel

Photo by Jessica Neuwerth via Flickr
Photo by Jessica Neuwerth via Flickr

“It has gotten to a point where I am genuinely annoyed at everyone else’s annoyance – be it social, political, or otherwise. It’s the week before Christmas, folks. Make some cocoa, sing a song, and get on with life.”

I saw the post on Facebook. An acquaintance had typed a message meant for peace, but rooted in disgust and ignorance. I couldn’t help but think, yes, it’s Christmas, but what are we going back to? Our “annoyance” was for police brutality, the injustice that has occurred in our “justice” system, and the racism and prejudice that has been embedded deeply into our society.

So, I read the comment on the Facebook status below. Continue reading “Be Quiet, It’s Christmas”

Why Christmas is My Favorite Holiday

Photo taken by jcoterhals via Flickr
Photo taken by jcoterhals via Flickr

I usually get strange looks from people who find out my favorite holiday is Christmas. They wonder why Thanksgiving or Halloween isn’t at the top of my list and ask for an explanation. I usually tell them how I enjoy celebrating all the other holidays, but that I’m a little more emotionally and physically involved with the holidays during Christmas time. Somehow there is something about this holiday season which puts a smile on my face more than any other time of year.

It isn’t the cold weather or the presents that get swapped during this time. Fruitcake isn’t my favorite food, and I was always concerned with how some older, overweight man dressed in an insulated tracksuit and matching hat, was allowed to break into people’s homes while they were sleeping and eat their food in exchange for a few gifts. Continue reading “Why Christmas is My Favorite Holiday”

The Department Store Diaries: Day 37

For the commercial part of America, and every department store circling the globe, the holiday season starts in September. During this time the store is stocked with ridiculous sweaters, fugly fur coats, and more overly-priced jeans. This also means that it’s the time for Christmas themed gift cards and charity.

“Okay teams, we needs to start asking these customers about our charities program. Asks them to donate theirs changes to the store insteads. Okay everyones?” The foreign supervisor gave out little buttons mentioning the charity helping underprivileged children for the associates to put on their badges. We then broke up the morning meeting and went to our cash registers.

It was about a few hours into my shift when I decided to step out from my hiding place in the stock room and start ringing up customers.

“Hello sir, did you find everything okay today?” I started scanning and bagging his dress pants and shirts.

“Umm, yeah. You didn’t want the purse right babe?” The customer turned to his girlfriend who was rummaging through the nasty raspberry chocolates. The woman just ignored him and threw the candy on the counter.

I just looked to the computer and totaled their purchase. “Okay, that will be $34.94. Would you like to round up your purchase to the nearest dollar and donate the change to the children’s chari-“

“-F#ck the children.”

I just smiled to keep back from my inevitable and gradually uncontrollable laughter. “Excuse me sir?” I turned around and looked to the customer rummaging through his wallet.

“Honey, that is so rude. How are you going to say ‘f#ck the children like that?” The woman was stuffing the candy into her face as she scolded her boyfriend.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

I couldn’t help it anymore and just started cracking up at the register.

“Ugh, I can’t take you anywhere. You’re so rude.”

“I’m sorry babe.”

“Hahaha, it’s totally okay.” I took his money and gave him back the change that was robbing all the poor children in the area of food that Christmas and watched the couple walk out of the store past the bushes where kids pee before the girlfriend hit her boyfriend upside the back of his head.

I laughed so loud that all the customers in the area looked up from their usual dumping-all-of-the-clothes-on-the-floor routine to look at me doubling over in hysterical laughter. “Hahahahahahahaha!”

I don’t know why I haven’t gotten fired from this job yet.

Read the madness from the beginning.