My Syndicated Life: Why You Should Start A Journal

Two pastel-colored journals, one pink and the other white, stacked on top of each other shot close up. Two wooden art pencils with pink lead sit on top.
Photo by Jess Bailey from Pexels

I spent the better half of the last two weeks reuniting with blasts from the past like every other television show cast coming together after being off the air for years. We talked about things we saw on each other’s social media feeds like our lives were syndicated classics playing in the background. The video streaming and conference calling replaced the feeling of knowing everything about some of these people, but not truly knowing who they have become as individuals. Reaching out to life’s puzzle pieces of the past was a nice reminder that things haven’t always been bad and that things will eventually get better.

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How Camping Can Spark The Next Renaissance

Prominent prolific musicians, or those who just go off into the woods, often come up with magnificent ideas and creative projects when they camp. It refers to periods when they go off with a bunch of people to create an album. It could last anywhere from days to months at a time, but usually, it becomes a moment in their careers when masterpieces are created. The same can be done for other artists of different crafts.

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The First Job I Ever Had

The very first job I ever had was something I built for myself back in elementary school. I confess that It’s not something I can ever put on my resume. In fact, I was actually threatened with arrest at one point during the height of my business success.

The tail-end of my elementary school years changed my entire life for the better. This was around the time when I decided I would try writing more and that I would pursue a career in the arts. I picked up the pen, went through dozens of sketchbooks, notepads, journals, and paper that I stole out of the large recycling bin on campus, and started writing and drawing. This was also the time that my crazy ideas began to have more of an impact on the lives of me and everyone around me.

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How I Nearly Caught My Death On The Gulf Coast

I lowered my window but didn’t remove the sunglasses that I had picked up from the local target before the trip. The sun’s rays were beating down on the Chevy Silverado truck that my coworker had reserved for me a few days before. So I decided I rather protect my eyes than remove them for the law enforcement officer that was waiting just outside of my window. Everything about the entire trip up to that point had been so last minute, and I continued the trend by picking up the truck after the meeting and heading straight for the coast.

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Life Lessons From The Snowy Desert

It’s been eleven years since the first and latest time I had to bypass the grapevine heading south to avoid a snowstorm.

I had to go all the way around the mountains from Bakersfield by trekking backward and by taking the coastal 101 down to Southern California. It took me about six hours, but it put everything in perspective. I was able to be on the roads that I never have seen before. However, this was before the explosion of smartphones and the Waze app, and it became an event that I will always remember.

Now, 11 years later I had to do it again. However, this time my vehicle headed due southeast facing the desert. I was stuck in an endless line of cars that would snake around the mountains in a different direction. Instead of seeing the Pacific Ocean as I cruised along the highway 101, I would have to go through the Mojave Desert past the old dry brush weighed down by piles of freshly dumped snow while driving on pitched dark and icy roads.

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How To Properly Travel To The Future

What makes us grow? As we do, in time we grow and change into recognizably different people. I thought about this as I looked at the date on my phone. I thought about how we have reached December of 2019, and how we are heading into the next decade of this new millennium. I couldn’t really pinpoint it, at first, what has changed about me in the last decade until I thought about it in terms of a particular cat. 

The cat taking up residence in my apartment is no longer that slightly mangy looking kitten my sister and old roommate found wandering the streets of Bakersfield. She’s now a slightly curvy adult cat with bowel issues and an expensive cat food diet. In many ways, she has developed this occasionally kind yet neurotic personality that leaves me wondering why, with her (I’m not kidding) overdramatic eye roll she gives me whenever I sing, she wasn’t born a human being. It took lots of time for her to even kind of like me or to become this strange domestic long-haired cat who loves playing fetch with hair ties. She has solidified her place in the world with her presence and personality, but this changed over the years and it continues to change as the clock hands tick forward. 

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When Thought Puzzles Become Art

I like to think that my thoughts are shaped like puzzles that I can use to piece together in different ways. I like to think I can use these puzzles to construct new ideas and new concepts. I like to think that makes dreams the involuntary abstract ideas that run wild. Dreams are evolutionary. They grow and change as we grow and change until they become something more tangible, and even then, dreams still evolve as we age.

I like to think that opposing thoughts are there to push the boundaries and shapes of the thought puzzles and that these new pieces create even more structures and works of art that we had no way of seeing before you began inviting other thoughts into your mind.

All these things built by thoughts and ideas create new spaces with new rules. The spaces pool into new worlds and congeal together into varying universes. I like to believe that thoughts are things and things are thoughts and that if you keep pondering the confines of the known and unknown universe, that you will begin to create amazing things.

#OctPoWriMo: Oct 24 – 31

October 24: Her

Sometimes I think about it in swiftly passing glances,

That it were me that you had chosen instead of her.

I ponder for a moment, but what I find in my intent is that I wouldn’t have lived my life this way.

I would have never climbed mountains, ran marathons, or have seen so many places.

I would not be the girl happily sitting here today.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Although a lot is what I endured,

But where I want to be and what I have loved along the way is being able to meet so many brilliant faces that have shaped the girl happily sitting here today.


October 25: Pretty

She was pretty.

Pretty enough to paint every line and curve that defined her face.

She could have been a portrait. Perhaps, she was a portrait, and we had been tip-toeing around a pretty inanimate object in the middle of the living space.

Room, she captured all of it, a space filled with eyes all resting on her.

She lived her life oblivious to the stares from the crowd.

She could kill any person with glancing murder.

She could have been an assassin. Perhaps, she failed at being an assassin because for her entire life she was a killer.


October 26: Light

I saw the light leave your eyes like the setting sun sinking softly out at sea,

And like the twilight of the evening I noticed the dark and grew concerned.

I was alone now under the floating tarp covered in thousands of twinkling lights.

Your light was no longer beside me.

And all I could do was continue moving forward.

Then suddenly, sometime soon, I know another sun will rise to greet a new day,

And I, like the dawn of the morning, will be drowned in warm light again.


October 27: Meaning

He asked me what I would say to God if I could have any question answered,

And I said that I would have little to say.

If I had to go on living after the question I would endure the rest of a life substandard,

And I would feel cheated at the end of the day.

To know what you shouldn’t know takes away the mysteries of life, And that is not how you should live.

You do the best you can until you reach the afterlife

Leaving everything else on earth with more stories to share and love to give.


October 28: Memories

We walk haphazardly down the street with our fake smiles

And all I think about are the other times we’ve been here in this place.

You think your own set of unique questions and I watch as your mind runs a race.

There are so many memories, but we comment on none.

We never pause to recollect or relive the fun,

And that’s how I knew we were over and passed the point of done.

I ended the relationship in my mind in an instant as if I solved our problem with a gun.


October 29: Language

I see your mouth move and contort into different shapes,

But I do not understand any of the sounds it makes.

Your voice has changed and the sounds that leave your body are unknown.

I listen to you like I’m having a conversation under water over the phone.

I know less of who you are as you go about your day. Your interests are different and you only deeply consider your pay.

Your familiarity grows strange as I lose my grasp of who you are.

You become the blurred details on the side of the road as I speed by in my car.


October 30: God

I am not a man.

I am the whole Universe,

Though no one believes.


October 31: Friendship

Here we are, five hundred and seventy- four fortnights after we first said, “hello.”

We were babies then and couldn’t imagine a life at the time where we ended up together.

You were the wild one, and I was the girl that was mellow.

We both rubbed off on each other and continue to evolve on this journey forever.

You said once that we were soulmates and I believe it to be so.

I think about this sometimes during the day, and I promise to find you in the next life when we both go.

#OctPoWriMo | Oct 5 – 11

October 5 | Run

The First heel strike on the hard black asphalt sent a message to my brain that day that hasn’t left my mind since.

It took me outdoors and into the woods, up mountains, and past rows of tall and thick densely packed trees.

I let the message guide me along road races for miles across multiple states and in different terrains,

And I thanked the message for introducing me to a new life with so many wonderful and amazing friends.

I have found my new self in the outdoors because of this, and I wholeheartedly welcome the change.

Because of it, I have sen the world, and I will continue to do the same.


October 6 | Ocean

I allow my toes to dig a little deeper into the wet sand as you pass through my feet and flow by.

Your cool touch awakens me with surprise every time, but I continue to wander even further into youas the hour passes.

When my waist is held by your forceful embrace, I stand still while looking out onto the endless horizon.

You try pulling me deeper into you, and I oblige for amoment before even realizing it.

You continue to call out to me as my heart does to you, so I swim into your embrace for a while.

I leave as the sun begins to fall behind you, but I always promise to return.


October 7 | Moon

I look up to you under dark skies and see you sitting proudly above the heavens for all the world to see.

You light up the night and steal the wandering eyes floating in the darkness.

Without hesitation, you lift the tides that try to carry the mountains out to sea, and keep track of time after the sun runs away.

Your magical body shifts and contorts itself into dazzling shapes, and on your foggier evenings, you inspire intense stories that last generations.

You watch over the harvest, and occasionally visit while dressed in red or discussing blue.

You are a cosmic masterpiece hanging on a board with more than a billion stars.

In the evening, we rightfully focus our attention on you before the period of time that you graciously watch over us as we sleep.


October 8 | Writing

I married you in the spring while sitting in a Catholic grade school classroom,

And all it took was for you to emerge when I read my first chapter book story on my own.

You introduced me to new characters and took me on holiday to multiple places.

We travelled the world hand in hand and you inspired me to help build you up with my own efforts.

I fell in love with your words and the way you carefully arranged them in decorative ways.

You captured my attention, and I still have yet to steal it back.

You have become my life, my passion, all of my ambitions, and you have washed away pain and confusion as time has gone on.

You were with me when I first learned how to inscribe my name with your elements,

And you continue to guide me as I continue my life as a writer.


October 9 | Journal

I write it all down so I don’t forget the way I take me tea or the rendition of my favorite song.

I try to hold on to all the passing moments as they wisp by in the heavy current of life.

I arrange symbols on a naked page that is hungry for graphite and sticky wet ink.

I can relive my life in any memory, and can write down future messages to the newer me.

My story becomes a passage for time travel with every stroke of the pen.

And it evolves into a lasting memory of me and all of my deepest personal thoughts.

I write it all down for no one and nothing but myself.

The daunting task of scribing my life if for me to do as I continue to provide content to fill the pages.

Those pages are my most prized possession. They are my past, my future, and they are most certainly me.


October 10 | Suitcase

Filled to the brim, my international tie to home houses the essentials in my world.

It billows with grooming tools, warm cloth to keep me clothed, and the occasional snack or two.

It usually follows me from behind as I roll it through the busy passage ways that lead to the giant metal birds of the sky,

And it conveniently fits snuggly in overhead compartments.

Although my cat gets sad when she sees it, my heart jumps for joy as I drag the thing out from behind a pile of other bags in my closet.

It’s a symbol of freedom and independence, of wanderlust and getting completely lost.

It’s a seat on the side of the road while I wait for a ride in a car, a coat rack when I arrive in an entirely new destination,

And a portal linking my life at home to the rest of the entire world.


October 11| Flower

It grew in the dirt,

And reached up into the sky

Following the sun.

OctPoWriMo | Oct 1st – Oct 4th

October 1 | ASL

I watch as your hands fold and bend around invisible objects.

Your eyes widen, but your mouth barely moves.

Although there is no sound, I can hear the words that are painted with your fingertips,

And I can see the power emanating from your hands.

Your language is beautiful, and your descriptions of things lets me know how creative and smart you are.

Your movements are fluid, but unlike a dance they dive into a deeper meaning.

I envy those movements, and so I spend my nights learning to move just like you.

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