The Department Store Diaries: Day 13

I’ve seen a lot of really random things at this point in my time while working in retail. I’ve held strange conversations with older people about what they had for breakfast while opening the store, seen angry customers yelling and throwing temper tantrums just to get a ten percent discount on a pair of socks, and witnessed mentally unstable thieves steal dresses off of clearance and bolt out the front doors and into a get-a-way car. But one thing that I’ve seen the most is terrible unattended small children getting lost and messing with things.

I don’t know how many times frantic parents had our associates call a Code Adam because they lost their children, and to be honest, I’m surprised that we don’t have to call it more.

“Mommy I need to go potty!” A little boy of preschool age was doing the potty dance by his mother while holding his crotch. “Mommy I gots to go now!”

“The restroom is right ov—“ I started to point to the back of the store where are restrooms were for the woman at the counter paying for jeggings and a yellow neon colored top, but was cut off when she told her son to go outside and pee in the bushes.

“Honey, go outside around the corner and find a bush. Mommy’s gettin’ her clothes.” I stared at the woman standing in front of me for a second and then continued to ring her purchase.

The little boy had begun to unzip his pants as he ran outside to go pee in front of our store’s major entrances. And after I was done stuffing the mother’s ugly clubbing attire into a plastic bag, the boy came running back to tell his mother what he had just done.

“Mommy! I peed far!” The little kid’s eyes lit up as he gestured the distance of how far his unsanitary stream of urine shot out from his body in front of random strangers on the street.

“That’s nice. Let’s go home okay?” The mom grabbed her bag off of the counter and didn’t even turn around to see if her three children were following behind her.

I began thinking about all of the other kids that were climbing on top of the pile of clothes that I had just folded, the ones playing tag in between the clothes racks, and the children who were left by the register while their parents were shopping in the hopes that the cashiers could double as babysitters in the time being. I came to the realization that there are a lot of terrible parents out there who should not be allowed to have children.

Read the madness from the beginning.

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