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I was sitting at my very uncomfortable chair inside my nice freezing refrigerator-of-an-office at one of my two internships when I thought to myself, ‘what am I doing here?’ It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean yes, I had applied to the position and added on another intense internship, along with my job at a department store, but I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why I would make a schedule so ridiculous and soul-sucking for myself. Was I secretly some masochistic office-space-loving intern that wanted to die by extreme stress and exhaustion, or I did I really think that this would help me get a real job later on and further my career?
I couldn’t tell you. My mind was foggy from working nonstop, and I could have sworn that my limbs were going numb in response to the near frostbite that my toes were developing. I sat there thinking about how I had gotten to this very spot and why I should actually stay here. My mind drifted outside to the warm rays of sunshine gently dusting the sidewalks just outside the office, and I thought about just packing up my things and getting into my car.
I would just drive and drive until I met the spot where the sun touched the horizon, at what seemed like the edge of the world, and I would just dive into the vast and expansive oblivion.
There I didn’t need to worry about freezing office temperatures, Starbucks runs for bosses and actors, or a pile of papers to go through that probably reached the twenty foot high ceiling. There I could just drift off to nowhere.
It wasn’t until I was about to just get up quit when the reasons why I had put myself into this situation came flooding back to me. The guy I work for is one of those Hollywood types that you run into while you’re in LA, but the thing that’s different with him is that he never let the fame get to him and he continued doing what he wanted to do even when people said he couldn’t.
The man is the online video equivalent of what I want my writing to eventually be like. He speaks about the issues that I find important and interesting, we mostly have the same political and social views on various issues, and I’d like to believe that I’m as hard working and incredibly diligent as he is, the difference being that I just haven’t gotten to the level of awesomeness that he has achieved.
This same guy that I now work for came up to me on my second day at this particular internship when I was pretty much bitching about how hard my life was and smiled. He stuck his hand out to properly greet me and I shook it. I think he knew what he was doing when he took the time to say hello and introduce himself. He put a smile on my face and sparked a little extra energy in my body that lasted me the rest of my intense day, and right then I thought to myself, ‘maybe I can do this.’ Of course I’m curious of how long that magically handshake will take me through this grueling summer.