I had stepped out of my car that night wearing my long brown cardigan draped over a tank top and some shorts. I slid my card into the gas pump and shoved the nozzle into the gas tank. I was tired, confused about my life’s recent events, and I felt lost wondering about what the hell the universe wanted me to do, and as I tilted my head back in a sigh of exhaustion, my eyes rested on a giant billboard staring right back at me.
A bushel of apples sitting behind a jar of Mott’s apple product appeared incredibly massive as it perched right behind a flood of lights pointing up at it. It looked down upon me like it was the eyes of the universe watching over the tiny gas station. I couldn’t help but ponder for a moment about my life, my insane summer, or even just about all the crazy events that have taken place in the past week and a half.
I climbed back into my car after filling up and drove down past all of the last bits of civilization into the dark and vast canyon of what seemed like the abyss. The surrounding hills looked like deep shadows overlaying the already darkened night sky, and for a moment I found my mind also pummeling its way into an abyss of thoughts.
About two weeks ago I was just an intern panicking about trying to find a place to live before my college classes resumed. I was content with my minor life struggles, and I was fine with not knowing exactly what I was going to do. Fast forward two weeks later and I find myself an editor for Cal Poly Pomona’s Uloop writing an article that ends up getting published on the Huffington Post. That post obviously ends up getting seen by a lot of people, and random job offers start rolling in like the line at McDonald’s right before breakfast ends.
A whiplash of emotions has taken a hold of my mind and thrown it into the garbage disposal. People were secretly reading my writing and enjoying it, well established writers were complimenting me and telling me that my byline would be seen everywhere, but at the same time I was still a broke college student without a single clue about what was going on. I still couldn’t afford rent with all of my school expenses trying to rob me for whatever chump change I had in my bank account, and of course the usual young person’s drama still comes into my yard and hits me in the face with all its goodies.
I continued my path up into the winding and mountainous road as I thought deeply about everything. I had no clue where I was going since I was left in the dark, but I was still moving forward with the knowledge that in the end I was still chasing some sort of dream I suppose.