Over a year ago my three friends and I planned a trip to Oregon so that Jessica could visit the boy she had told me she fell in love with, kissed and held hands with on the playground. He was the one that had made the couple receive ridicule from all of the kids in our school because he was too hyper and didn’t fit in with the cool kids.
He joked around with her, “If you married me, you wouldn’t have to change your last name because it would remain the same anyways,” since they both had shared the same surname, but were fortunately not related to one another.
He had given her his mother’s earrings and told my friend that he had loved her in front of the whole school. Embarrassed, and sort of flattered, my friend decided to break up with him in junior high. She wanted to fit in, and he was never going to.
Within months after the break up her first love left the school and moved with his family to the state of Oregon, and after a reconnection on Facebook in college and a visit from Ethan in California after years of separation, Jessica decided to return the favor and visit Ethan in Oregon.
Unfortunately, it all didn’t work out, but the four of us girls still met together in my hometown.
Stress from school, work, and various other things sent Jessica into a rage that sort of stung the rest of the group. I admit it now that I was upset that Tiffany, the girl that I had met and had been friends with all throughout college, had gotten a terrible first impression of my best friend. Natalie took it harder and (without disclosing a series of other terrible events that happened during that trip) eventually severed all ties with Jessica. I had taken to my blog and published a defaming post that I eventually took down, and after a week or so of ignoring each other Jessica and I made up—Natalie and Jessica never did.
I tried over and over for the past year to get everyone back together again to no avail. The weekend I had worked so hard to bring everyone together blew up in my face, and it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I would never get all four of us into the same room again.
Several months ago I even tried to create another blog that would secretly reunite the four of us through posted notes and emails that I had named, ‘A Little Mulch of Letters.’ The blog, unlisted and collecting dust still sits on the internet with a post to the girls begging them to just get along with each other at least for me.
I had been friends with these girls for a long time, and it’s still sort of upsetting that my closest friends don’t even get along with one another. A sharp reminder of that initial pain shot through my body as I drove from Natalie’s house that first day over to the ranch where Jessica was working that day.
I guess a little mulch of letters weren’t enough to keep us all together.