Filthy Thoughts of Knowledge

“Hey. This is God here. You guys can chill in my place for a bit while I’m out. Just don’t eat that fruit over there on that really cool looking tree.”

“Okay, cool.” Adam said as he was in the midst of naming animals and riding majestic cheetahs.

“Yeah sure whatev.” Adam’s girlfriend Eve was half asleep when the booming voice of God told them to stay away from the evil glowing tree, but within an hour of the warning, Eve was making a delicious salad with the juicy golden fruit.

“Dammit Eve! there’s glowing fruit in this salad! Did you use the forbidden fruit?” Adam had already eaten half of his large serving before he realized the shimmering gold mixed in with the dressing.

“Umm. About that—“

“—Yeah. I’m gonna need you guys to get out now. You pretty much broke the only rule that I gave you.” God had just come back from his meeting with his band of angels when he noticed pieces of the glowing fruit stuck in Adam’s teeth.

And when Adam and Eve were kicked out of God’s outdoor living space they gained knowledge and realized that they had been living as nudists the entire time. Sin, doom and gloom entered the world and the couple’s children ended up on the wrong track all because of this psychedelic fruit that gave them knowledge.

This (slightly altered) story of the ages pretty much tells a tale about two people being punished for being curious, breaking the rules, and learning. They get kicked out of paradise and into a world where you can no longer ride upon majestic cheetahs or take naps with fluffy bears. Knowledge is looked down upon and innocence is lost when the first humans move on and go out into the world.

All week in pretty much every one of my classes I have been reading stories about how knowledge takes away our innocence and causes all the trouble in the world. When Prometheus from the Greek myth brings fire to man both he and the humans are punished; when kids find out that Santa might just not be real they lose that particular look that they have when they are opening Christmas presents from who they believe is an overweight man that breaks into your house and eats your snacks; and when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit they were cast out of Eden.

But when you think about it, knowledge isn’t really so bad. After the initial downfall of man in both the Greek and Hebrew myths, humankind built great civilizations, discovered even cooler things like other stars and galaxies, and even invented sliced bread. And when you think about knowledge that way you realize that it’s similar to the balance of freedom with responsibilities and consequences in the sense that you really do lose you innocence when you learn new things. The clean slate becomes filthy with your thoughts and experiences, and that filth just helps shape who you are as a dirty minded person.

My point is that ignorance is bliss but you tend to miss out on even better things like sex and alcohol and… umm… you have your own thoughts on different subjects and are able to have deeper conversations and become more aware of yourself and your surroundings. Knowledge becomes a tool that progresses us into the future and gives better meaning to our existence. It’s the foundation for life, it’s essential to our survival, and it’s a wonderful accidental gift given to us by evolution or God or fate or whatever the f#ck you believe in. lol

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